Run Before You Walk.

I am officially 20 days out from my first small business bootcamp, and I am very excited. 

It’s my first venture out into trying to do something that is purely me, professionally. I have my work on council but as a councillor you’re part of a team and not one that always goes in the direction that you want to go. So, this business is very important to me because it will finally be something that I can control, that I can take the satisfaction of success or the accountability of failure. 

I am 32 years old now, closer to 33 than 31. A father of an excellent little soon to be 5-month-old, and when significant segments of your life start to take shape, it makes you go through a bit of an existential review of your life. 

During my review, I realized how disappointed with myself I was for my time at Mount Allison. I got my degree, but barely. I didn’t try, skipped class, drank on the weekdays and slept till noon for about 4 years. Not only is this lifestyle attractive for an immature student, but it also creates an excuse for why you didn’t succeed, that everyone I’ve ever encountered has utilized at least once in their lives.

“I could have done better if I tried harder, decided to take that chance or that proverbial next step.”

The Most Meaningful Realizations Are Not Profound Or Innovative

I have a small readership. A good post on this blog gets a few hundred visits, a mediocre one gets just north of 70. And some have reached as low as 30. I think this in large part is because A) it takes time to read a blog post and people are busy. And B) I am not offering anyone some profound “aha moment” insightful encapsulated in a sentence answer to life’s questions. 

I can, without a doubt, tell you that every adventure I’ve taken boils down to a choice between taking a risk or doing nothing. Relationships, you have to put yourself out there and let yourself be loved and risk getting burned. Your career, you might have to move down a peg economically to chase what your passion is. Communities, you have to risk letting go of your status quo and working towards something better for the future, all while accepting the fact that it might not work out.

An Olympic Sized Challenge

I can’t for sure tell you what that next step is going to be. It could be a career change, a diet, a move to a new town, or something even more earth shattering. 

I know an Olympian who is the most calming presence I have ever encountered. To be an Olympic athlete is to wake up every day and try. And to do so with near certainty that you are going to fail. You can fail to qualify for the Olympics or a team. You can fail to medal or advance. But you have to push yourself beyond reason every single day regardless of all this looming failure. I bring this up because in the brief time I have known this man, I have never felt like I was in the presence of anyone who was more zen. At peace with his life, his place in the world and the future as this guy is.

A calmness rolls over you when you know you’re doing your best, the anxiety of taking that next step is gone after you take it. Regret is poison, and the only antidote is action. So I’m getting off my ass and going for my 5k walk, and taking some literal steps. I wish you all the best in yours, whatever steps those may be.

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4 Responses

  1. Thanks Sandenn… your university days and mine have a few similarities!

  2. Hi Sandenn, I try to read your posts. I just wanted to say that I am proud of what you and Mallory have accomplished in your lives as far. I’m sure of whatever your endeavors are for the future will succeed. Keep up the good work. Hugs😀🌺

    1. Thanks Carol. Just so everyone reading these comments are aware you are a great mother in law. I am so happy that we came back east and that our relationship has grown. Especially since Jack-Bear’s arrival.

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